My name is Russell, and I am seventeen years old.
My biological father is Joseph Chamblee Wilder, and for the past eight
years he has knowingly neglected to pay child support. As a result, my two
younger brothers and I have done without.
My grandparents and mother have practically sold everything they have to
keep the three of us in school, fed, and buying our medicine. I'm supposed to
start my senior year in less than two weeks, but since my father has yet again
failed to pay child support, and does not reimburse anything without my mother
fighting for it for years in court, that will most likely not be the case.
On January 2011, I was diagnosed with mild traumatic brain injury,
consistent with the abuse my father did to me; then this past April (2015) at
Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, my diagnosis was reconfirmed, though this
time recorded as a permanent brain injury, one that I'll have to live with for the
rest of my life.
When I wake up in the mornings, most of the time I can't remember the
fact that I'm in my own bedroom or even occasionally what my own name is.
Luckily, I'm taking Alzheimer's medicine to help me with my memory problems,
but that's not even the worst part. Every second of every day I have a headache.
Now I'm not referring to your typical sinus-related headache; what I'm talking
about is migraine sized headaches as if I'm constantly being beaten upside the
head each time I breathe, and most medications only make these headaches
worse.
But even so, I continue to miss out, while my father on the other hand
continues to party every other night, lavishly spending his handsome income of
money on his girlfriend and her three children, one who is in his twenties. The
best part, as it turns out, what little child support we got was paid out of money
gifted to my brothers and I from my great-grandfather (Lt. Gov. John Shelton
Wilder, Sr.). Since February, my father's attorney has been paying the child
support he fails to pay, from a unknown source of money, to keep Joe Wilder
from going to jail; Which is illegal. Therefore, my deadbeat father isn't even
paying the support that we were getting. In fact, Shelton and Judy Wilder
(technically our biological paternal grandparents) give my father cash gifts and
pay for his attorney(s) to fight my mom, but again, does not pay for my brothers
and I.
Just to clarify a few other things you might have been told, the following is true:
1. Joe Wilder let our house be foreclosed on (and the Wilder's held the
mortgage). We had to move in behind my grandparents home. That was in
2008. My mom's suburban was also repossessed in March 2008 because
Joe wilder did not make the payments. It was almost paid off and We have
had no car since.
2. My brothers and I were forced to visit with Joe Wilder in 2009; despite an
Order of Protection against him. This is when my brothers and I were
viciously abused by Joseph, Shelton and Judy Wilder. My mom gave up
everything to keep us safe.
3. My mom got no alimony because Joe Wilder lied about his income.
4. Joe Wilder's visitation rights/parenting plan was suspended in my parents
Final Judgment of Divorce because he failed to comply with drug testing and
court ordered therapies. That was in October 2010.
5. I have testified before several legislative hearings about the injustices that
have happened in my parents divorce and the abuse of power.
6. Neither Joe Wilder, Shelton or Judy Wilder have paid for anything, tuition,
clothes, school or scout activities, etc... Nothing for the last 8 years. If you
have been told otherwise it is a lie. Any monies paid prior to that to help my
parents were given to them by either my paternal great-grandparents or my
maternal grandparents and never Shelton or Judy Wilder.
7. There are medical and legal papers, in addition to comments made my entire
childhood, where Joe Wilder stated that He himself had been abused by both
his parents when he was younger. Rather than break that cycle of abuse, he
began it with my brothers and I when we were no longer little and cute.
I would like to point out that that you have not seen me or my brothers in the last
eight years. Why is that? The Wilder's have plenty of money. They have paid the
law firm representing Joe Wilder quite well, so why is it that Joe Wilder has no
contact with us? Because he abused my brothers and I, and my mom has fought
a David vs. Goliath battle against them to protect us. It is that simple.
Now what have I learned from these past eight years? Well, apparently if your
father beats the living hell out of you and even if you have the papers stating
such, money will get him out of any sort of punishment—in terms of the law. Not
only that, but if you're a significantly wealthy deadbeat parent, then you don't
have to pay child support, because hey, you've got enough money to buy your
way out of everything.
So why are you receiving this message from me? I wanted to let you know what
kind of person(s) you are friends with. The kind that do not pay support, but buy
smoothies for everyone at work. The kind that ask for prays and donate their
10% tax deductible donations money to church and Fayette Cares, but hide
assets and gifts from their own children and grandchildren, to punish them for
telling "family secrets". The kind that allow a 46 year old to walk out and not be
financially responsible for his children, giving him a little bit of money to engage
in dangerous and risky behaviors, so that they can continue to live off of monies
stolen from him and his children, but that 46 year old is too busy getting messed
up to care (IE: enabling him for their benefit). That is what you get.
So I am asking for your help. Help to make the Wilder's see how wrong their
actions are. Help to make Joe Wilder be financially responsible for HIS three
biological children; especially considering that I have medical problems due to his
physical abuse and one of my younger brothers was diagnosed with Autism
when he was two and a half (another reason he walked out). And if you are that
powerful, prayers and donations to help my brothers and I to make it through the
hell that Joe Wilder has caused. My mother has given up everything and my
father took everything like he promised her the last time he was at home. We
have no home. We have no vehicle. Unlike Joe Wilder, My mom does not date,
party or drink. My grandparents have liquidated everything they had, including
their retirement, to fight to simply keep us because Joe Wilder has access to
unlimited funds to delay and stall court proceedings. My brothers and I may be
Wilder's by blood, but thankfully, we do not act like them. We have good hearts.
We volunteer. We are active Boy Scouts, because my mom made a promise to
our great grand-momma (Marcelle Wilder) that we would. Even though Joe
Wilder claims to be an Eagle Scout, his actions towards us prove otherwise and
he has done nothing to keep us in scouts. In fact, he has done nothing for our
benefit well before my mom filed for divorce in 2007. We are honor students,
despite all the hell we have been through and what little we have.
Joe Wilder only has to pay $1,624.00 a month in child support, when it gets paid.
From 2008 until April 2014 he paid a little more than $1,000.00. He did not even
have insurance on us until almost 2013 because he kept lying to the court. We
only had TennCare. That's right, you all paid for our insurance while he had
private and lied. Last year (2014) he quit his job right before child support court
to try and lower what little he has to pay. He did is again in May (2015) and my
brothers and I went without insurance until last week. Why? I do not know if it
was because he found out my mom to me to the New York specialists who
confirmed the brain injury. Or maybe it was because she filed her legal brief in
the Court of Appeals. Or maybe it was both, because either way he and his
attorney have lied on record about his income and other things and my mom will
not let it drop. So he punished us. We are used to it, being survivors of domestic
violence. He never pays his support around our birthdays or Christmas or the
start of school. Again, my mom has to take him to court to get reimbursed for any
medical, so he goes years without paying, all the while he is spending money
taking the people he works with, or dates, or wants to feel sorry for him, out to
eat, drink and whatever. If you are one of the people who has benefitted from his
or his family's "generosity", you now know you did so on the backs of his
children. You got smoothies, we went without meds. You went out to eat or drink,
while we went without school clothes, shoes, etc. You get donations or
sponsorships for your child's ball team, while we did without money to attend Boy
Scout camp or work on our Eagle Scout projects. Now that you know, perhaps
you will be brazen enough to tell Joe Wilder what he has done and is doing is
wrong. Perhaps you will understand my position about him and why it is not safe
for my brothers and I to he around him.
I am supposed to start my senior year in less than two weeks. I'm supposed to,
but that's most likely not going to happen now because my father has once again
failed to pay his child support. So while he's out doing who and whatever without
consequence, I—at the age of seventeen—continue to take Alzheimer's
medication, when my mom can afford it, and pray for a miracle to help my mom
pay for both my daily medication and my tuition, so that I can be, and my
brothers can become, the kind of men who help others, like my Grand-momma
Marcelle wanted us to be... The kind my mother has given up everything to
protect and raise, and not like the male who used to be my father and is now only
linked biologically and by court order because of HIS life choices.
